I knew it wouldn't
last... my happiness, my love.
Depression
and questions overwhelm me. Can't stand this life anymore.
Break down... a great one is in store for me soon. Kelly
and Sharol have moved to San Francisco for good. Greg
will be leaving soon to Arizona. I'm moving out of the
apartment. I don't know where I'll live. In my car? Only
place really left for me. I really don't feel like I have
anyone to turn to, to support me, to fall back on. Sure
, a lot of people say that I could stay with them or come
to them with any problems, but I feel they all, are making
empty promises. I feel like running away. I'm getting
rid of most of my possessions. Getting ready for something,
but I'm not sure what it is.
Kelly was so
mean and cold to me last night. Last night, Paul, Chris,
Duane and Kelly were all there. All of which I've gone
to bed with.
Overload.
I couldn't
handle it. Not even a conversation. No real emotion shown.
I hate my life. I want to get in touch with my soul. To
know it. I want to discipline it. Make it learn. I want
to study reincarnation. I'm obsessed with it. Also I'm
obsessed with being alone, I feel so much better. My body
is only a thing I'm using in this lifetime. My next life
must be better. What I'm I learning in this life though?
I need to do away with material things and concentrate
on my inner-being. I think I've found the key. All I need
to do is discipline myself. To learn and reach peace with
myself.
-Dane
