Why tell me
why am I so obsessed with Kelly? I think of her honestly
about seventy-five percent of the time. Especially at
work when she's working. She's not outstandingly gorgeous,
but she's got the natural beauty that I always like. Her
hair is auburn brown, brown eyes, very skinny (not like
Joni, in fact she's nothing like Joni or the other girls
I know!) Anyways,
she wears different kinds of clothes. She's original!
I dont know
what's wrong with me. It can't be love because ... I don't
know. I'm screwed up. I love to talk with her! Saturday
we went out and got stoned and then went to Dennys to
talk. We stayed there for almost five hours, just talking!
What kind of relationship do I want with her? I'm really
attracted to her sexually. It's weird, she's twenty (almost
twenty-one) and I'm only eighteen. Age shouldn't matter
though. She told me that she found me "very attractive".
I hope we have sex together, I think she would be a wonderful
lover. Kind of like Chris, but I think she would enjoy
sex and Chris, I think, really didn't.
What was so
special with Chris was that he loved me. And when he said
"I love you", It felt like he really meant it.
I miss him so much! We haven't been doing as much stuff
as we used to. I don't really know why. Sometimes I doubt
my own bisexuality. I like women fine, but when it comes
to men, I become very picky. Chris is very special. Tonight
I'm going to do something with Chris. Sometimes I feel
so attracted to him sexually and feel like jumpin' him!
Other times I don't want to jeopardize our friendship.
I don't know. I read in "LIFE" magazine that
teenage homosexuals are the loneliest people in the world.
I really believe that.
Love,
Michael
...back...
