I don't know
what has happened between Lisa and I. I went over to her
house after my NA Class and she dwelled me out. She was
busy with homework.
I mean, I understand.
It's just that she can spend time with Richard and not
me.
I am jealous.
I left very
fast.
I almost felt
like crying, but I didn't. I will not let this bother
me.
Last night
Chris and I went to the "Flats" like we were
"supposed" to.
"We had
to be there!" It was Tiffany's birthday.
I went all
the way to Paso Robles to pick Chris up, then we came
all the way down to SLO. No one was there. We paid, or
I paid $5 to use the bathroom and then leave. We went
to the Cafe. Christian was there. He found the note I
left him next to one of his poems in one of the books.
He replied next to my note:
Paw,
Could
it be a bunny paw? I don't know. I am back and want
to see you, talk, and hear you. I think I know you and
will wait openly. This note is really read at a good
time in life for friends can never come at a bad time.
Come talk to me. Share with me, and be my friend.
-C
Well that is
what it said. Think it could be possible that Christian
and I could become friends? If we haven't or if we don't,
It will be my fault. I wonder, if I should call him tonite
and see if he would come to the Cafe.
Speak of the
Devil, himself.
"I want
to die"...
Christian's
tape is playing. Not the one that he made Kelly, but another.
This song playing now is one that was on Kelly's.
By the way,
Kelly is starting to worry me. She is abusing drugs. I
called her on Valentine's Day and she said she had been
drinking.
Fuck, this
makes me feel great!
Right.
So she got
drunk. It upset me that she would do that to herself all
alone. She is depressed enough without taking drugs. I
had to hang up. I couldn't talk to her like that. I said
that I would call her back that evening, but I never did,
I just could not talk to her like that! It made me depressed.
So I called her the next day. She was better, but then
that night she got intoxicated and went to her store meeting.
M. sold her two hits of C and let her go home alone to
veg. Nice of the cunt!
Anyways, now
I'm sitting at the Cafe across from Mike. He has his glasses
on, and looks very good. Don't ask me why I am attracted
to him, I just am. Maybe it is just the glasses. Nothing
permanent, though, I know (from experience).
I just saw
Ward Angles. I hardly recognized him, he didn't even recognize
me, (hardly anyone does, anymore). He is looking good,
but like a Mormon.
Crazy.
Saw Mike Black
and he didn't recognize me.
Christian,
Shannon, Valencia, and a whole crew of people are now
here.
Crazy, crazy
night.
Not really,
actually quite lonely.
...back...
