O.K. What's
up?
Nothing!
Nota!
It is so depressing
looking for a job, let alone not having any money. Any
day now I will suffer a breakdown.
I'm in San
Luis right now looking for a job. I went to one job interview;
a telemarketing job and it was a dive. In the paper there
are no waiter jobs. Avilia Beach, maybe. Old Port Inn.
I wish Craig
would have given me more hours. I need to save at least
$600 by March if I want to move in with Mike. I am three
payments behind on my car payment. I do not want to work
fast-food, but I need fast money, fast.
Oh, why couldn't
I have been born rich!
I would look
great driving in a BMW and Perry Ellis Clothes!!
And where IS
my life going?
I've given
up Tim and now Kelly. I have no money to survive. I need
a rich lover, fast. I do not care if I have to sell myself.
My well-being is kind of second place to surviving.
Am I to go
through life with no education, no money and no friends?
"21 Factor",
I must remember.
This is only
the preparation of my true-being.
What have I
in store for me?
I must stop
smoking, start working out, dive into reading, school,
and music. Education and welfare of the body are most
important if I plan on succeeding. And I must, If I want
to go on living and hope for a future with Kelly. No real
relationship can happen for me until I succeed.
Struggle and
discipline.Cannot let my desires and whims take hold and
control me. Must be reasonable and think things out before
I proceed to act things out. Supreme agility in everything.
No matter what the cost of me or or others.
For the next
two or three years I must be selfish and act only for
the benefit of myself. Seclusion and loneliness may result,
but only temporary. I know I can be supreme and conquer
whatever comes. My attitude MUST be positive. I cannot
waste time. I have not much to spare.
The pro-me
has been born today!!!
...back...
