miC.heal's meM.oirs . . .

saTur.day, maY 14th, 1988

part of eaCh other...

I am in a state of nothingness. I look, focus my eyes, and see nothing. No images, paths or future. I have gotten into a mental block.

All that I have lost! All that I have worked for, only to draw back into myself again.

I almost do not care. I wish Kelly would find someone that would make her happy. I am sorry, I have failed in many ways.

I do not give up.. I just will stop trying.

No longer stimulating.

Void. . . . .

I feel this great loss, but I am doing nothing to recapture what is right in front of me.

I wish I could be free!

I have allowed myself to become enslaved. I am as good as a bum living in the streets. Lost all hope. Just waiting to die.

My soul is dying. I am not happy or sad. No in-between. A depression that leads nowhere.

To be daring and selfish is what I wanted.

I have given in to others before myself.

I have been forced to look in the future, instead of living day-by-day


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