miC.heal's meM.oirs . . .

saTur.day - maR.ch 6th, 1993

. . . waNting soMe loVe . . .

6:44pm

HI there! I'm wanting some Love. It's been awhile since Frank and I have made love. He never thinks about that with me. What's wrong with me? Other people think I'm attractive, why doesn't he? It's really hard to sleep in the same bed with him lately. I want to hold him and kiss him and make love. He doesn't think about it at all! Maybe about other people? Who knows? How can I go on like this? I won't even touch him anymore because I can't deal with the rejection. So I don't know what's going to happen with us. I've tried to talk to him about it, but then it seems like I'm basing our relationship on sex. No! It's more than that, but he uses that against me. I don't know what he thinks. I believe he's bored with me. It scares me so much sometimes, I want to show him my love in ways that he won't let me. So, what do I do? Do I leave? Do I find a lover? No! I don't want anyone but Frank. I love him. It's gotten to the point where I've been looking at other men: fantasizing about them, wanting them. Frank's not even 10% of my sex life. I don't think that's normal. I see Lisa and Michael tonight; there's a lot of attraction between them. I want that. There's nothing wrong with wanting to make love with someone you're in love with! Maybe I should just leave and try and forget s.f. And my life here. The fucked relationships I've had. I don't know, I wish I could just die!

 


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