I am alone. Really
alone. I haven't anyone to talk to. If I call anyone I'll
distance myself away from the truth. I don't want to call
anyone. I feel like dying. My body to go where my soul has
been for months... dead. I wanted to, so bad last weekend
to die. It was new years and I wanted to die. I locked myself
up in my room with a knife, I cut my arm, I bled, but I
didn't have enough courage to kill myself. Why?
This book is
full of death. Almost every page is filled with despair,
hate, of a soul that wants to leave.
What is it going
to take?
Frank slept with
me less than a month ago. Halloween came and he became so
depressed. He wanted to have someone there for him, as I
want someone for me now. I came. It hurt but I came. But
now he doesn't need me anymore and it's over. X-mas came,
people came, my moM. Then they left, and he left. He didn't
feel comfortable anymore. (Like his letter said he did.)
He wasn't depressed anymore. He didn't need me, so he's
gone again, only to the next room! I don't know if I even
had a chance! Am I so foolish to think I did!?!
Why am I cursed
with such a folly that I am someone special! He only needs
me when there isn't anything else for him. Disposable, but
Retrievable. And I am weak. I've given up too much. My strength
isn't there anymore, and I want to die; Alone.
Now... there's
nothing, no-one. Not even Frank who I'm bonded to. He's
always with me. I can't get rid of him. How can he be so
important? Why does he control me?
