4.21.2000 :

reX.'s hoRRorsCope

G R E E T I N G S Sagittarius

With the Moon in Sagittarius, you feel a need to communicate. You have so much to say, it might be hard to get the thoughts down on paper. Instead of speaking your words -- sing, dance or paint them. Use symbolism to get your ideas across. Having enough energy won't be a problem. You are the truly enlightened leader because you don't care whether or not anyone is following. You believe reality is highly flexible. However, don't forget to keep your feet on the ground! Have a good time, but remember not to blow your budget. Save a little for a rainy day.

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out here on the couch of sHame again this morning.. tyring to ween myself from the beD. a bit.. not that i dont want to spend time there.. it's been part of my healing.. but i got to cHange my patterns.. i feel that....

got up early this morn.. with the suN.. like old tiMes.. and lisTened to the ciTy waKe up with the kiTTs.. we played alot this morn.. sat in the suN.. and am glad we did.. cause right now.. tHe clouds are rolling in.. yeeeeeKs! .. hope they burn aWay and it becomes another beautiful daY like yesturday.. it wHas like summer! ..loVed walking around in the suN..

yaH.. i finally got out of the house yesturday... been kinda sTaying close here sinCe geNo left... it's like there's tHIs panic wHen i tHink of leaving.. i feel it.. the kiTTs feel it.. and the other nite when i wHas supposed to meet mY date.. well.. i looked at them.. and they were like: "dont leave us!" .. and insiDe i wHas goin: "i canT leave you!" .. for aWhile this is ok.. we need this.. we are sTicking together very tightly now... as we should.. but we gotta get back into our liFes as well... eliZa needs to come into the liVingroom.. sHe's been hangin' on tHat beD. eVer sinCe ePs went to the wooDs.. plus... sHe tHinks sHe looks greaT on he neW beD.spread

so walked around the ciTy... ate lunch at orphen anDys.. very cute dude who works there with the most sWeetest kissable faCe.. heh! .. wHas weird.. when i walked in there.. i wHas listening to my walkmann and "seXy boye" by aiR wHas playing saW him.. and thought .. "how appropriate..".. big sMile.. "hi there... liFe is like a moVie sometimes.. "... but the wierdest thing.. wHen i wHas getting ready to leave.. he wHas playing music.. and just then selected.. what else.. ? .. "seX.y boye".. by aiR! .. sTrange univerSe.... no piCkup.. no number eX.changing.. .. it wHas just a moment with a cute dude in a caFe... passing moment with people without eX.tra attachments is sometimes so gratifying.. and liFe is full of them..

tHat wHas a hi moment.. of my day.. also another "hi" moment wHas meeting daVid for dinner.. so aCtually got out of the house two times.. yah! .. daVid is my eX. boyfriend from before franke.. well.. actually they ovErlapped.. but tHat's another sTory.. daVid and i went out together right before the reX.cam... but had piX. up on my site of hiM.. kinda ouTTed him to his faMily by misTake durring cHristmas! ..yeeeeeks! .. they found my site.. and found his piX.. they were thrilled.. he wHas not! .. yeeeeks! .. but we are oVer that now.. and laugh about it..

wHas great to see him.. familar faCe.. we have no resentment toWards each other.. it's sTrange how daVid's and my liFe parallell eaCh other... his kaTT beaTnic died the friday before ePs.. he also had hiM. for 14 years... we toAsted to our children.. last niTe.. and aTe meXican food in thier honour... and we both knew that tHey were causing trouble no matter where they were..

we had so much to catch up on... he's buying a house in the ciTy and is so sTressed... i think we both helped each other "de-compress" last nite.. again.. it wHas so gooD. to see hiM. .. more of something familar.. in a time where familar things are leaving me..

 

pauSe...... to reflect on that last statement ..

 

so.. plan on sTopping the sMokes with geNo and geNe on monday.. im gonna try and get a stop-smoking consultant on the sHow for monDay morning.. im warning eVerybody.. i may beCome the "angriest mann on gaybc" ... heh! ..

liKe marTha saYs.. "iT's a good thing" .. im so ready .. but feel that i haVent put enough research into the methods im gonna use to stay off them.. i felt a little presured on my show to set a daTe.. so i did.. and am sticking to it.. but wanted to do it right this time.. after 15 years.. there's alot of conditioning that i need to undo... yeeeks again mann! ..

eaSter eGGs are gonna sTart appearing on my site pretty soon.. im already planning my second annual easter egg hunt on my reX.cam site.. so watch out for them mann! .. tHey lead you to places where you might be suprised... heh! ..

eVil geNe is not being tHat eVil.. or is he? .. he's been helping me out with the reX. a day.. so you will see more captures updated each day.. eRic is also helping out.. and am asking eVEryone to send in captures that you get.. so we can arChieve them.. cause there just aint enough piX. of me on my siTe!..heh! ..

want to tHank eVerybody who wrote me durring ePsilion's passing... and for the caRds.. the support.. the loVe.. mann.. i felt it.. sHe felt it.. and knowing that eVeryone wHas there for me and the kiTTs.. you gaVe me warmth and a saFe seCure place to go to.. and encouraged my healing.. this goes with great notice to me! .. i am so grateful...

there are so many people who feel like i do.. our pets.. are not just pets.. they are our children.. we raise them.. love them.. they become family... and when they pass away.. it's like our child dying.. part of us dies too..

fuckin' tears are still rolling down my cHeeks... im gonna be cRyin' for a long time.. i know..

but also know .. tHat im sTrong.. and i haVe my kiTTs.. and my tribe.. and am very graTeful for them.. they make me want to liVe lifE.. and loVe it.. apriciate it.. and learn from it.. and eX.cept the cHanges that happen.. push me to wHat reality really is..

goTTa go get ready for the "ketchup" show this morning... enOugh of my mornin .. yawNs..

tHere are more yaWns to come...

xx

reX.

baCk to reAliTy reX.