reX.'s poll:
wHO is your valentines?
http://www.gaycams.org/polls/poll.asp?source=reX
also looking for questions to be asked of any webcammers.. if you want to
ask a question for the poll just email me! .. rex@rexsworld.com
toDay's fortune cooKie:
Find a way to get your heart into what you are doing or
find something else to do.
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it wHas a coLd valentines eVening..
i bunched the hoMie jacket closer to my cold body.. as he probably did when he wHas cold.. tHe jaCket wHas one of the things left here.. never to be picked up after tHat night i had kicked him out..into the cold.. tHe melroSe place finale that night didnt end wHen the tv wHas turned off and two sTrangers went to beD. a good night sLeep wHas not in store for the two lovers..
"tWo.. is the lonliest number neXt to one.. "
i wonDered if he wHas warM... or if he wHas cold like me.. i hoped he wasnt cold.. i couldnt bare tHat thought... i had the desire to get the jaCket back to him.. to make sure he wasnt freezing tonite.. like me.. i wanted to maKe sure he wHas warM.. like i did when i would pull the coVers over hiS. sLeeping bodY.. i hoped with my fRozen soul that he found another jaCket.. to keep hiM. warM..
tHe headphones snug on my hard sprayed hair.. wouldnt keep my ears warm like his big bRo earmuff headphones did.. but sang out the music spun from the CD player like it wHas destined too..
"oNe is the lonliest number you will eVer know.. "
no matter wHat i did tonite.. i dont tHInk i could get waRm.. no matter how many layers i had on... wither i had hiS. jacket on.. my oWn.. or eVen someone elses.. i wished i haD his bRo headphones to keep my ears warM..
iT wHas valentine's daY.. eVening.. now.. and the worst cold i haVe felt in a long time.. it went through me.. actually it came from me.. deep from my heart..
tHe caSa wHas too cold to stay there any longer... eVen with the tWo glasses of cHeap merlot i haD consumed trYing to remedy the dreadfull feeling i haD for this day.. i kNew i would probably be better off outside for aWhile.. eVen if it wHas reported that it wHas cold outside.. and better to stay in.. with your valentines love.. i haD. to leave the caSa before i fRoze.. aLone.. it would be my death..
i lit a marlboro.. and thought about how i had tried to quit.. tWo years before.. wHen i would crawl out of beD. early in the morn.. and left hiM. sleeping there to go sWiming.. i felt tHe warMth. from hiS. sleeping body.. i thought i wHas warm..tHen.. but aCtually eVen at tHat point there wHas something already being iced over.. deep inside..
i tHanked goD. that i still sMoked.. at least for tonite.. i needed tHat familiar companian.. and felt self destructive.. my cRavin' would keep me from going inside any public non-smoking california trend bar tonite...
as i walked down market toWards tHe caStro.. i saw for a moment the tWo of us .. making tHis saMe path.. ovEr and oVer again.. we paVed a way.. and now i still walk it.. with hiS. jaCket..
fuck.. it's cold.. time for the gloves that wHItefeather had giVen me for cHristmas.. i doubted that it would really help .. but at least i should try and fight this cold..
i traveled past the windows of loVers and thier dinner.. i aCtually felt a drift of warmth wHen i saw the cute guy with gReen hair with his pink haired gurlfriend.. eating at the sMall table.. captured by each others presence.. deep into the feeling of this sPecial day.. eVen if i would have gone up to the window and tapped on it.. i doubt they would pull themselves from thier hypnotic trance with each other.. i could tell they felt warM.. and hoped tHey had a wHay to keep tHat heat in... i could feel the warMth from them.. a dRift of warmth caMe through the window..and tried to get in past the jacket.. but i bunched it together.. to keep it out..
after all..
oNe is the lonliest number i have eVer known...
reX.'s
raMbles!
