reX.'s poll:
toDay's poll is asked by cHippy.. "cHippy asks" ..
if there could only be one webcam in the world... wHo's webcaM.
would it be?
go vote! .. and write in your own answer
also am looking for questions that you might haVe! if you want to
ask a question for the poll just email me! .. rex@rexsworld.com
toDay's fortune cooKie:
If you can't laugh at yourself when you do something silly then
you have no business laughing at others.
(ummmmm.. i tHink tHIs forTune is especially for saggitarians right now. heh!)
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oH my goD.! did i really wRite tHat?
Hello, Rex.
I found your ramble (valentines day-nite)
to be moving, so emotional, so cold, the coldness of being alone.
A long time ago, a lover once described to me the sense of being
alone in a crowded room of people, still yet desparately alone.
Perhaps a light shines for you in the spring, when a warm wind blows across the bay, and the buds come out on the trees.
It's OK mann, there are more good times comming, another boy soon will make your hair stand on end, give you goosebumps, show you skyrockets. So says my crystal ball.
Many fine regards from cyberspace (nice meeting you at last year's Dore Alley).
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(reX. aCtually ansWers an email! .. sTand back please! and keep your aRms inside of the bRowser till reX.'s ramBles comes to a complete sTop.. )
heh! .. bRo... all day yesturday .. i couldnt shed a tear .. not eVen for myself.. the cold again..
but wHen i just read your email.. somehow.. these fuckin' tears started sWelling up.. i guess it's just the acknowlegment and the reality of the day after writing my true feelings for a world to read .. when most of the time .. im tryin' to cover up tHOse certain feelings.. from tHat world...
..
tHat description of the alone person in a cRowded room has always
been me.. iRonic tHat i would feel alone with people watching my
life all over the world.. and i have been tryin' to overcompensate
all my life to dRive that feeling away .. or at least hide it from
myself and of course others.. but it's so easy to see.. always there
and i can never sHake this feeling completely.. so far it's been
liFe long.. like a born handicap.... i just deal with it as best
i can.. and try not to let it take over.. eVen though it's not an
unfamilar feeling for me.. it's still hard to eX.cept sometimes
that i am like tHis..
giVin' in to my feelings last night wHas like a huge relief.. like i didnt have to fight it anymore.. i just gave in to what i really felt.. even if i didnt want to. and mann.. eVen though i wHas feeling "cold".. i felt almost a relief to not have to put up my gaurds.. or over-ride my feelings.. with what i have presented to the world to eX.pect from me.. in a wHay i beCame pure.. if that makes sense..
and it wHas really nice to see people in love yesturday..and goin' out.. at least im not bitter with the sadness..and cold.. i kinda thought of it as "window shopping" .. im not gonna buy now.. but im considering.. and tHat is good.. at least the cold cant paralyze me fRom having the dREam of wHO i want to be.. and how i want to feel..
im soo00000 happy valentines is over.. not to say my feelings are gone.. in fact i got a closer view of my feelings that i havent been in touch with in a long time.. too sCared i guess.. to tHink that i wont allow myself to love in that wHay.. wHen i feel i am a loVing person.. and desperately wanting to give it.. this might be wHy i stumble so much in relationships.. and why now.. im tryin' not to be in one..
tHe first valentines day of the new "real" century wHas a trip! .. and more to come.. but think i would like to visit some different destinations in the future! .. heh! for sHure! .. :)
tHank you for your words.. tHank you bRo.. for your crystal ball.. and the warM wind..you send.. it helps waRm the coldness i feel..
xx
reX.
reX.'s
raMbles!
