reX.'s
raMbles! . . .
moN.daY.
deC.. 10th 2001
G
R E E T I N G S Sagittarius
Just
because you take the intellectual high road doesn't
make you a stick in the mud. Energize the masses with
your brilliance. People who are stalled always appreciate
a push to get them going, and you are just the person
to push, cheer and bring a little bit of enthusiasm
and levity to a trying situation. Remember, the philosophers
of old were also the standup comics.
(
caN i siT down and be a sTand-up comic? .. wonderpowers
activaTe! .. eNergize!!.. well.. at least my cupp
of coFFey is wakin' me up! heh! pusH .. pusH! .. sHOve..
sHove! .. lets get the sTick out of the muDD.. and
get out of this situation sHall we.. )
---------------------------------
- Miracles
are not just extraordinary occurrences. They are also
small simple things that are often overlooked. Take
the time today to notice one.
- 365 reaSons
for a parTy! dec. 10th :
Hanukkah
begins!
Birthday
of wiLLiam heNry haRRison
tHe last
day tHat reX. is 33!
tuEsday!
on reX.'s reaLity!
haPPY biRthday
to me! .. happY birThday to me! .. yeppers.. ye old
reX.y turns 34 this tuesday! and we celebrate tHis occasion
here on my sHow as we look at "age-ing" ..
is getting old .. old? or is it something we value and
look forWard to? .. would you want to sTay young foRever?
.. join me as i also sHare some reflections of my liFe
.. the gooD .. the baD. .. the uGly and the pRetties..
as we giVe "sPanks and tHanks" to memories
and lessons we have eX.perienced as we gRow up and look
at age-ing.. !
reX.'s
realiTy! .. tues / fridays 10pm - 12am ET
radio.gaycams.org
tHe question.. wHat is neX.t?...
9:38 am
maNN..
woke up on the wRong side of the beD...
wHas
soooo wiPed out yesturday.. i went to beD. around 7pm
and dRifted off to sleep durring the simpsons.. damN!
i keep missing them .. but at least this time i have
taped them..
moM. made
a gReat dinner yesturday afternoon in celebRation of
my upcomin' biRthday... had her "faMous" roast.
aunt noNi and uNcle leo came over as well as julia and
her soN. eaRl.. wHas hopin' that loNNie could have made
it.. but the busses werent running in his side of toWn
and couldnt make it.. i wHas bummed but undersTood..
i dont have a caR either and it's hard to get around
in this big toWn without one.. im hopin' to meet hiM.
soon though.. really dig talking with hiM. and never
have met hiM in person.. he's my fiRst fRiend here..
in baKo..
after dinner
and after eVeryone went home .. i feel into a gReat
depression.. again.. i came into the "gaRage de
reX" and fought the tears again.. and eventually
fell asleep in my cHair there.. with eliZa on my laP..
she always comes to me wHen im upset.. sHe knows. always..
bless her.. plus im warM to lay on..heh!
i tHInk im
really nerVous about going to sf this week and doing
my HIV sCreening.. even though it's gonna be gooD to
start focusing on this .. i still want to avoid it..
im feeling more anger tHese days tHan avoidence.. maYbe
cause i cant aVoid it anymore.. i talked with gRegory
about this .. and he told me that i wHas doin great..
that as long as i wHas looking and eX.cepting what i
wHas feeling that i wHas doin good.. he reminded me
that im not alone battlin' the universe.. but connected
with ALL... and therefore an important part of evolution..
he wRote me a "love letter" .. and i felt
so waRm from it.. but at the saMe time.. made me miss
hiM. all the more.. and my liFe in sf.
sPoke with
GC and miKey (funk) yesturday on the pHone and looks
like i will be goin' to the webcammer gathering in las
vegas begining neXt year.. im happy that i have that
to look forward to .. i just need to saVe some money
so i can get there.. and GC said he would take care
of the hotel costs..
im planning
on getting some kind of joB to help with all the debt
i have occurred in the last yeaR and pull myself out
of this money depression after i know my plan of attack
with the HIV situation.. i have felt that i would not
be able to commit much to a job or working as a contractor
again until i knew wHat wHas going to happen and how
i might feel if i start taking medication.. so another
good thing about getting somekind of tReatment started..
i neeD. to
get my liFe going again.. and moVe into my 34th year
with confidence and cHanges that will help me grow again..
i have done so much soul searching and dont think it
will be much use .. unless i put it into effect.. and
start applyin' it to my liFe and how i live..
it's gonna
be one of the wierdest birthdays for me.. and such a
biZzaire present to get the HIV sCreening..
i dont want
the meDs.. im sCared of them.. i know from past eX.periences
and through my fRiends with HIV what they can be like..
but im gonna have to do .. wHat is necessary.. and tHat
i will just have to deal with it..
i will be
34 tomma.. saying goodbye to 33.. and even though ..again..it's
been a hard year . i have looked back and realized all
the gooD. things from it.. as well as the things i have
lost.. but without losing some of those things.. i wouldnt
have rooM for wHat is neXt.. for my 35th year..
tHe question..
wHat is neXt?
..
