reX.'s
raMbles! . . .
suN.day.
jaN. 13th 2001
G
R E E T I N G S Sagittarius
Keep
talking, even though you may feel that your blood
pressure is rising and the other person isn't hearing
what you're saying. An argument over values is not
necessarily a bad thing. On the contrary, it will
allow you a chance to free your mind as it grows and
expands. Don't let a ripple in the pond become a tsunami
when all it really wants to be is a nudge in the right
direction. There is plenty of raw
material being tossed at your feet. It may take work,
but it can be sculpted into a treasure.
---------------------------------
365
reaSons for a parTy!
- aNNiversary
of the meeting of the feD.eration of woMen's clubs..
(card deck sales went up the neXt few years..!)..
- reX. riDe.s
baCk to moM. and kiTTs.. !
- reX. and
".iT" sign a liFetime leaSe!
...
oThers know ... ".iT"
a
sLambook eNTry from jiM.
reX.
hey bro.
can't give
you suggestions on dealing with 'IT.' unfortunately,
you can't be where i'm at now without having your own
experience with 'IT.' i can only tell you about my experience.
my first
year, i remember having a conversation with myself similar
to the one in your rambles. then i opened that conversation
up between my IT and me.
i realized
all i had heard or seen about IT had told me IT could
harm me. no one ever told me that due to IT's nature,
i could also harm IT.
you see reX.,
IT needs me to survive. just like your IT needs you.
can't carry on without you.
so i made
a deal with my IT...i'll give it enough of me to keep
it going, keep it around for a long time, help it survive.
that's IT's purpose, to stick around, just like it is
our purpose. i won't bomb it with toxic drugs, magic
potions, or anger and hate. i'm a host, IT's a parasite
and we live a symbiotic (i think that's the term) existence.
but in order
for me to keep my promise, IT had to make sure never
to take more than it needed and never to do damage that
would cause me harm. 'cuz you see, if IT tries to destroy
me, it will also be destroying itself.
no living
thing, whether it has a brain or not, wants that.
finally reX.,
when you start getting scared, when those thoughts begin
to run away in your head down that dark path, think
about me....
11 years.
sure, IT's
still here. but hey, i am too and that's all that really
counts, isn't it?
x
j-
----------------------------------
8:17 am
i
hear the beat of your dRum jiM...
...and can
gRoove with it..
a daNce with
".iT" ..heh! ..
this
last trip to sf .. really wHas a step for me..
im finding out about ".iT" .. and what ".iT"
is.. as i say.. it's more tHan HIV..
jiM.. you
are an inspiration to me.. durring this time.. you come
up in my mind as well as others i know that have lived
long-term with something like this.. wiether it's cancer
... HIV.. the redefinition of the of having this ..
through long term survivers.. means everything to me..
and getting
to know ".iT" .. im begging to reconize how
".iT" works.. and am beginning to finally
talk to it.. or at least hear it's beat.. like i wrote
in my rambles recently.. we gotta share the playground
mann.. i have to lay down some house rules.. i have
been here longer..
tHanks
you guys.. your drum beats.. beat some sense into my
blonde bRaincells..
