The
world is too much right now. Well, maybe not the whole
world, but you're getting tired of things around here.
Ordinary tasks feel heavy and pointless. Your mind is
ready to leave on vacation, but certain obligations
still hold you here physically. Ethical considerations
require your undivided attention. A legal matter might
be spinning out of control. Whatever your position in
this case, you have to see it through to the end. Cost
overruns threaten to undercut your recent gains. Stay
well within your budget so that there's something left
for you when this is all over..
(
oh... sHit.. )
ive been
holding my bReath..
for quite
awhile now..
as i go under..
so i may
surfice.
just signed
and sent my new lease to my landlord.. and even though
i know that this is a good thing for me.. and felt good
about it..
iT. also
weighed heaVy on me this week..
now that
i know that i will be here for awhile.. i became eX.tremely
hoMesic. i had to stop myself from cRyin' when i put
that envelope with another year contract in the mailbox
down the sTreet.. i imagined that i wHas in sf on my
wHay hoMe.. tHat familar feeling wHas there.. eVen though
i wHasnt.. i wHas becoming familar with wHat wHas here..
and it wHas remindin' me alot of wHat i felt back in
sf..
all good
..
the saD.
and happy feelings are mixed.. aS. they probably sHould
be.. i thought of every option before i signed oN. for
another year..
liNda
liTTle asked me last nite at pePPer..
"aRe
you happy?" ..
i nodded..
and thought for a sec.. thinking about being homesic
.. all the things that i built out there.. the support
and love of my tRibe living out there.. but also feeling
the eX.citment of haVin' new eX.periences and the gRowin'
security of a new place.. new souls to bond with.. something
that my spirit needed so much..
"geNerally
i can say im happy.. " .. i finally responded..
nuff said..
eVen though
i have felt saD. and went through some tuff times adjustin'
to this sTrange new ciTy.. i also couldnt think of a
day wHere i couldnt find something to be happy about..
and most of that wHas a result of being here.. im getting
part of wHat i caMe out here to get..
tHere's alot
to pull me back hoMe... tHere's alot to keep me here..
and i made a decision to continue my discoveries here..
i know it's part of who i want to be.. i want tHis to
be part of my liFe.. my liFe in cHicago... and how this
"tough-gurl with the genuene heart" ciTy impacts
me.. sf wHas a different kinda gal.. and i still love
her.. i wont lose her.. and will be with her soon eNuff
i know.. sHe's with me eVeryday..
tHis morning
i thought of all the places i want to visit.. new meX.ico..
aRizonna.. caNada.. eNgland.. haWaii.. costa rica..
roMe.. (i know i will fall in loVe with roMe).. maYbe
i will liVe in some of these places someday.. i caN.
see myself kiCkin' it on some dessert raN.ch with all
my animals in my 50's.. workin' on my pick-up tRuck..
livin' near the poW-wow of the indian.s.. makin' herb
remedies and a humble living as a healer..
lol! ..
im so silly.
.. but this
is better tHan a moVie..
seVeral aCt.ually..
