11:45ish
well, I went
through the EMDR
successfully.. or at least accomplished what I wanted...
the attempt
to look back at the eXperience and see what is there.
wHy?
cause I am
unable to look there.. it scares me too much and therefore
it being part of my history ..
impacted
me..
and not in
a good wHay...
so I need
to look at what I'm scared of so I can deal with it....
let myself
become familar with this fear and how it effects me.
Can I effect it?
tHat's what
I'm figurin' out .. cause the fear will never go way
.. it's what's part of me now.. and if it's gonna effect
my life...
I wanna have
some kind of effect of how it does that.
