it's been awhile
since i just sat and wRote.. feeling sicky the last few
days and fightin' off a bad head cold.. yesturday i had
the day off and just crashed all day.. took some tHeraflu
and that helped a bit as well as dosin' myself with oscillococcinum
.. somthing
my doc had told me about wHen i wHas comin' down with
the flu.. i sWear by it these days.. and it's hoMopathic..
wHich is my sTyle.. i dont like to hide all my symptoms..
i like to fight the cause.. and know where im at.. hide
all the symptoms and you wont know if you are still sick
or not..
blah.. blah..
sounds like a comercial..
rage
wHas here in cHicago this last week for his 40th birthday..
he wHas here sat through mon.. and it wHas so nice to
re-connect with hiM again.. he is such a sWeetheart and
the fact that he came here while it wHas snowin' and fReezin'
weather when he could have been sittin' on the warm beach
at home in florida made it even more sPecial... rage used
to live here in cHicago.. so he is familar with our harsh
weather... but.. we made the best of it.. cHicagoens have
a tough skin built up.. and dont let the weather stop
them from what they need to do.. in fact i think the weather
is something that gives them pRide.. always talking about
it.. always effecting us.. something to always overcome
and survive.. im just starting to understand this being
my first year here .. i cant believe that i have almost
been here a year.. it will be my aniversary the end of
feB. do i get my cHicago sKin then? .. or is it built
up over the years? .. in the meantime.. i have been layerin'
my own "skins" .. for warmth.. the winter here
can be very discouragin.. and depressing as well.. but
having rage out here was a nice change and he brought
his soulful warmth to my caS.a.
i took hiM
out to the pepper
lounge.. to meet the peppers.. and to try our cHocolate
martini.. it seemed like he really liked the place.. and
the folks i work with... especially our sexyhunk bRian..
heh! bRain gets quite a few looks at pepper as if HE wHas
the menu! lol! .. it wHas great to see the peppers on
my nite off.. and they were suprised that i wHas out and
about.. i dont go out much.. at least to bars.. unless
im working .. it was really nice to be at the other end..
enjoyin' the place where i work.. havin' the peppers welcome
me.. and having a place to go where i knew people.. tHere
wHas a sense of pRide when i took raGe there.. im proud
of the peppers.. the scene that is created there.. and
being a part of it.. it's a wonderful eScape from the
wiNter chill.. and plus the martinis warm you up..! .heh!
..
(one martini..
two martini.. three martini.. floor!)
and warMed
up we were wHen we left the pepper and walked over to
boystown... i could feel the cHocolate martini swishin'
in my tummy as i sWished down the icy street to our next
"sWish"... geno's bar.. appropriately named
"cocktail"... which wHas just a hop .. skip..
and a "dRunk" away from the pepper.
we met with
geNo
at cocktail.. who wHas bartending.. he welcomed us with
a shot of traditional jack and asked us to hang out till
he got off work so we could hang.. so raGe and i barflied
and drank more.. from our cHarming bartender... visions
of past nites sitting where i wHas wizzed through my head..
and here i wHas again.. soMehow our bartender always draws
me to hiM.. and this place.. i did sWitch to water after
awhile.. i think geNo saw it in my eyes when he handed
me a bottle of water.. i knew if i wHas gonna continue
this evening .. that i should hydrate myself.. cause "hydrate"..
the new boibar in boystown... wHas our next stop..
geNo got off
work.. and we followed him to hydrate with a entourage
of people we didnt know.. but once inside the bar.. rage
and i got a drink and settled ourselves.. i wHas feeling
pretty good.. i wHas out.. drunk.. and havin' a good time
hangin with raGe.. not my normal evening.. i probably
would have stayed at hoMe with the kitts and watched a
movie if rage wasnt there to inspire me to go out..
rage and i
were standin.. watching the crowd.. geNo had dissapeared
somewhere.. and dion... a cute latino who works the door
at cocktail arrived..
"hi"..
he said.. standing there cute as hell.. looking at me
with his sexy eyes.. and lipps that said kiss me..
so... i did..
heh!
mann.. he tasted
so good! .. i had wanted to taste him for quite awhile..
and his kiss wHas perfect.. a little nibble and bite here
and there.. made me want more..
tHen.. from
out of nowhere.. geNo wHas there! .. he pulled my face
to his and started kissing me! ..
"what
are you doing?".. i said.. startled..
i hadnt seen
geNo for a couple moNths up to this point so i felt a
little wierd about his kiss..
he aNswered
by leaning in and kissing dion.. tHen he pulled me in
to join them in a three-way smacka-roo... i pulled back..
i wHas dRunk.. but not that dRunk.. i felt wierd.. not
knowing quite what wHas going on.. it felt reckless..
i didnt want things to get out of hand..
geNo stopped
and then jammed.. i didnt see him for the rest of the
nite.. although he told rage he would be back..
still feeling
a bit wierd.. i looked at dion.. didnt say anything ..
and neither did he.. until i leaned in and started kissing
him again.. then what i said to him.. will just be between
us.. but i loved whisperin' it in his ear.. no script..
just what i felt.. and feeling him.. was getting hot..
and we started really makin' out! .. lol! .. in the back
of my head.. i knew that rage wHas there.. that i was
being rude smoochin' on this boi in the middle of the
bar as he stood there.. so i told dion that my friend
wHas there and didnt want to be rude.. pulling myself
away wHas hard.. and so wHas something else..
rage and i
got another drink and started dancing.. havent danced
in forever.. besides at home with the kitts.. and ellen
in the mornings.. heh! .. i think geNo left cause we didnt
see him again that night.. i had hoped that we all could
hang out.. but i think he wHas put off by me.. and left
without saying anything to either of us.. i felt bad..
mostly cause rage wanted to hang out with him.. it was
his first time meeting geNo..
i felt bad
as well cause geNo and i arent as close as i thought we
would be once i moved to cHicago.. and didnt want this
to be something that would push us further apart.. i havent
been wRiting about geNo cause there are things that im
still trying to work out with our relationship.. our friendship...
i wonder these days where the wonder tWins went? .. and
if they ever will be together again.. and activated...
things have changed so much in the last few years.. losing
and gaining different things that have rearranged my reality..
geNo told me when i first moved here that i wHas different..
true.. i am .. but hopefully not so different that it
makes it impossible to be my friend.. hopefully he knows
that im dealing with things in my life that have impacted
me in a way that has altered my perceptions.. and reality.
im not the same person.. no.. but deep down.. i really
am.. im now discovering really who i am and coming back
to a person that i love.. and i still love my buddy and
miss him even more that we are living in the same city..
so there..
it's done.. i wRote about it.. and feel a little better
letting it out.. let the uNiverse do wHat it will ..
the next day..
raGe and i did our traditional hangover day.. i always
feel so bad for him after a nite that we go out.. he is
disabled the whole next day.. but we made the best out
of it.. and just hung out at the caS.a making our retarded
recovery.. he left the next day.. on monday.. and wHas
sad to see him go.. it wHas still snowing and i bet he
wHas happy to get back to his florida sun.. and to his
kitty xavier..
i really enjoyed
rage's visit.. and hope he comes back again and again..
he talked about getting a place again here in chicago..
i could tell he missed this city even though the weather
is harsh.. there's so much to this city.. always something
to discover and challenge you..
happy birthday
raGe... i hope you had a good one.. i loved hangin' out
with you.. and ragin' a bit myself.. it's been awhile..
Of
course the party is over. How could something like that go
on forever and still be special? As previous life lessons
probably taught you by now, all play and no work makes Jack
or Jill a target for financial accidents. You don't need that
kind of risk, and you're too smart to let it happen, anyway.
Return to your life, and try to remember what it means to
be normal. For just a little while, at least, try to convince
others that you mean business. Once they take you seriously
again, your playful side will reemerge in sly little ways.
