tHurs.day - maR.ch 11th, 2004 There would be better times than this to start things that you hope to finish. You're not exactly procrastinating, but you're easily distracted. The world is a busy, vibrant place, and there's enough on your plate as it is. Satisfying every appetite feels like a worthy goal, although it's a question of time rather than health. Your budget may not be as strong as your system. Wait another few days for the right burst of energy that will let you tackle something new. By then you'll know exactly what you want and be much better prepared. being out here in cHi-town iv'e been able to focus more on my faith and beliefs... over the years.. my faith and belief systems have come together and broken down...and come together again.. stronger than before.. part of what im doing now is looking at what i fear most.. top of that list.. loss.. im looking now at the losses that have impacted my life.. losses that are hard to look at.. losses that i fear.. but these losses are part of me.. and how i have coped with other losses.. part of what i fear are the feelings that i have for these past losses that still effect me.. that almost 18 year-old michael that wrote about his feelings with those losses at that time reconnects me with what recently has happened to me.. it's a cool thing actually to have this perspective of 18 years.. i feel that im nurturing this boy.. who is me.. from the eX.periences that i have had since those losses in the 80's.. im able to pull from my eX.periences and answer some of those confusing questions that i put out in my younger writings.. almost counseling my younger self and feelings as i have grown in 18 years and have a different understanding.. it all relates now.. with how im dealing with things.. because the understanding and compassion that i have for that 18-year old michael is shared with this 36-year old michael-reX.

...baCk...