1/12/2000 :
reX.s'
reacTions
soMe things have been aSked in tHe sLambook tHat i wanted to address
here.. sorTa like a FAQ.. but as a raMbling reaCAtion..
it wHas asked:
does reX. have HIV?
reX.'s reaCtion:
well... lasT time i wHas tested wHas in noVember of 1999 and tHen
it wHas neG. i neeD. to do another test sooN.. feel tHat the new
year.. neeDs a refResher... i to tRy and get tested about 4 tiMes
a years.. quarterly is gooD i tHink.,. but haSnt always been tHat
wHay.. i would go for a couple years without getting tested...yeeeKs!
..
but as i saY.. the wHay i feel... the viRus ... and other viruses
are around us.. and we need to be careful.. no matter wHat.. i liKed
wHat carlton said on the sHow last night... saFer saFe.. nothing
is always saFe but we can taKe precautions and be informed on wHat
is saFe.. some of tHese tHings are personal decisions..
for me.. eVen if a person.. or knowing myself is neG.. i still
will aCt as if tHey are and i am pos. and take precautions.. and
pratice saFer seX.
i haVe my rules.. and yah.. iam like eVerybody else and do take
some risks... we all do wHeneVer we encounter seXual relations with
someone..
so .. nope.. not poS.. but act as i am.. and take precauTions..
mann.. i haVe so much moRe i want to saY about this.. lasT year
tauGht me some maJor leSSons... am cuRious.. hoW many times do you
all get tested? .. and if you do? ..
laTer.. reX.
-------------------
anOther reaCtion to someone's aPPerence and assuming tHey have
AIDES:
iF your gaY.. sKinny.. and haVe dark cirCles under your eYes..
must mean he's got AiDEs... ???!!!..
a tWiggy look alike.. but not the other! heh! ..
it's wierd that people will think that .. but i guess it's kinda
normal to make that assumption... people have asked me if i had
HIv before... just cause im sKinny.. eVen had an uproar at a place
wHere i worked...
weird how something can be piNNed on you because of your appearance...
eVen though i dont haVe it.. i sTill get some of the aTTention from
it..
neXt tiMe you see an oVerworked skinny boye.. just tHink about
giVing him a massage inStead! heh!
------------
uGGGH! .. i tHink outloud too much sometiMes... this is my reAction
to jiM. and i beFore we haD. our final conversation.. and my "emoTional"
raMble to jiM.:
it's so wierd sometiMes to see people talk about you... i hAve
gotten used to it .. to a certain point.. but more and more i get
tRipped out on seeing tHings about me.. not tRipped in a baD. wHay
all the tiMes.. but it's weird wHen you start to deal with certain
feelings internally and then sometHing eXternal comes up and influences
it...
wHen it's puBlic.. well.. tHat's wHen it getS tRippy sometimes...
i puT my liFe out thEre... my feelings.. and get soMe really good
sTuff back .. tHat's wHy i conTinue to do it.. giVe out .. and you
will get back.. and learn..
boTh jiM. and i put our feelings for each other ouT there... and
am not sHocKed.. or piSSed.. or suprised tHat people would respond..
eVen with us not "conneCting" right now..
we haVe differences.. yes.. but sTill if you haVe talked with jiM.
or visited his website.. you know tHat he is a good person with
gooD . intentions.. and hopefully you know from visiting my site
you get the saMe impression.. we arent perfect.. but i thInk both
of us are good people. we have some differences.. and maYbe with
time they will work ouT.. or maybe they wont..but i wont hold anGer
or resentment toward him.. and hope others wont either..
saYing that.. i just want peoPle to get too hunG up on "he said..
sHe said"... sometimes it creates reactions that may not be based
on the full piCture.. i just dont want anybody harrasing jiM. or
me.. or creating moRe friCtion by taking siDes or getting bitter
... tHat sounds selfish.. i know.. but.. hey! .. i got my opinion
too.. and donT want to see anymoRe huRt around here.. for me.. foR
jiM.. and anyonE else...
iT's time to geT balance... it's time to heal..
laTer.. reX.
baCk
to reAliTy reX.
