Did
u give up the coffee booth?
...
im weeeeeeenin'
myself off of cafine.. thus coffee.. yes..
one cup a
day for now.. sometimes.. just half a cup..
it's funny
cause now when im at the bar i crave coca-cola... but
catch myself as a caffine junkie and stop and have water
instead..
it's goin'
pretty good so far.. most days i start with some herbal
tea in the mornings.. and then once i get into work
.. i have my coffee..
i have never
been able to do that before.. get up and not have coffee..
but am getting into a routine.. yay!..
even though
im having some caffine durrin' the day.. it's a small
percentage of what i used to intake each day.. and feel
that i have accomplished what i wanted..
to be aware
of what i intake and how it effects my bod.. and control
that intake..
9:00
a M
caSa de SLO...
dealing
with loss...
yep... tHat's
what im doing.. or learning to do... there has been
too many losses in the last few years for me to keep
up with.. or even to re-act to all of them.. deal with
them.. they have overwelmed me and took over..
tHat's what
the therapist is for.. and like it that im going in
there knowing wHat's goin on with me.. and her place
in my situation.. some one that is gonna help me start
dealing with the loss.. and start building my confidence
up again.. so that i can achieve these new dreaMs that
are just now starting to wake up .. and take a cHance
on them..
i have done
quite a bit myself.. but as i have learned the last
couple of years.. i need some assistance.. and it's
not wRong to ask for help when in need..
it's funny
cause she thought after our physo-annalysis first meeting
that i wHas a therapist.. heh! .. the questions i wHas
asking and the comments i made..
told her
i wHas more of a amature therapist.. with all the talk-show
stuff i did and people i talked to .. i wHas close to
wHat is called upon to be one.. but have had my eX.periences
helping others..
i have found
that helping others helps me..
now it's
time to help myself.. and get some help..
in the last
week.. i have moved forward so much in little areas
that mean alot to me..
cuttin' the
caffine.. not skippin' meals.. takin' my suppliments..
finding a job that gives me a challenge (bartendin'
is fun) and also allows me to have routine in my life..
to be able to have confidence again in myself and what
i do.. all that means so much to me.. and now having
weekly meetings with the pisces.. my therapist.. to
start dealing with some of the losses in my life.. and
how to keep confidence in what i believe..
she also
pointed out somthing that scared me..
i cant say
it.. cause .. i havent been able to deal with it yet..
but she spotted it from the first meeting.. and called
me on it..
i know even
though i may act like i dont have a problems in certain
areas.. it still may be there.. and i cant just ignore
it.. just because most cant see it..
wHen she
mentioned it.. i felt like she went right in there..
and bypassed my "protection" field and targeted
on that aspect..
yikes..
like i said
in my sLambook.. she better have lots of towels to help
clean up the mess.. heh! ..
but mann..
i feel like i am at the beginning again.. in my life..
not from the start.. but from the middle of the game..
and so glad im still part of this .. and not defeated
yet..
the gaMe
aint over..
and even
if i have to pass "go" .. and not collect
the 200 bucks.. the fact that im still rolling the dice
gives me a "chance" ...
and that's
all i really have needed in my life.. all my life..
is that cHance.. and im relieved that it's still there..
i just need to move some cRap out of the wHay..
reX. picks
up the dice.. blows on them for good luck and begins
another roll...
People
could call you 'the temp' based on how quickly you
do one job and go on to the next one. Change is your
watchword today, and you're determined to get done
what you see fit, even if others can't keep up. In
fact, one person may be lost in the shuffle, and you
might regret not helping out later. You are light
on your feet, a moving target, a verb instead of a
noun. Efficiency is your middle name. A higher-up
at the office is definitely impressed with the advances
you've been making -- keep it up!
up
and reaD.y for this day.. 
piecin
it toGether with the pisces toDay! 
