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Hi
Rex:
I said I wasn't gonna do this, but it won't be the first
promise I haven't kept. I figured you'd be bombarded
with other's stories, and it truly is something you
have to live yourself. However, I'm coming up on 15
years of knowing what you call "IT", so I
guess you can benefit from my experience or totally
disregard it.
My number one survival mechanism has been not to let
IT run my life. Through 1994 I had a very demeanding
career: demanding on my time, energy, and health. In
the fall of 94, I went on disability. Not because I
was particularly sick, but HIV and my career were not
having a fun time vying for my available resources.
I prepared to die (remember, this was before Protease
inhibitirs.)
Or so I thought. When I was diagnosed in 1987, I was
given a 15% chance of living to 30 (I was 24). I didn't
seek any medical help for 6 years. A year into disability,
I was on protease inhibitors and bored as shit. I went
back to school (used all my savings and retirement money).
I got two Masters degrees. I got the job of my life
two months out of school. Now I'm a published author,
I have a (negative) partner I've been with for almost
5 years whom I dearly love, and time is still short.
Don't waste your time getting to know IT better. Live
your life. (Remember that line in Shawshank Redemption
where Morgan Freeman says "You gotta get busy living
or get busy dying.") It's alot more fun living.
Spend your time on something more worthwhile than trying
to understand the Zen of HIV. IT doesn't deserve it.
I've had the same doc for the 11 years I've been getting
treated. I've been on every form of HIV meds they make
since 1990. I smoke pot practically every day (have
for 20+ years), and I don't drink regularly. Every month
or so, we meet up with Tina and get "Ignant"
(as xxxx would say) and have a few friends over for
play time.
You'd never know I had this in me. My viral load is
up near 100,000 (my doc thinks anything over 50 is too
high) and my T cell count is over 300, but I don't get
sick (they're studying my DNA). I get genotype testing
every few months to check my resistance (I'm currently
resistant to everything but Crixivan, but it makes me
turn yellow, so I don't take it.) I still take my last
regiman that worked, as the doc thinks this might perversely
be holding IT in check (letting it make copies, but
copies that are too weak to do damage.)
Anyway, I've gone on too long. Take what you will. Do
something else.
xxxx
(A watcher for 3+ years)
