weD. - feB.ruary 11th, 2004 As the British say, in for a penny, in for a pound. As long as you're committed to dipping your toes in the water, you might as well take the plunge. Affiliating yourself with a favorite group of people means that you have to become part of its process. There could be a lot of work, but you feel good about it. Your input is a valued resource when you throw your two cents into the decision making. Even if there's a dispute in the ranks, you're confident that it can be solved without bringing in members of the legal profession. wHen i think of my fuTure.. i always think of my future being.. four years ahead.. my fuTure.. 4 years to foRty... sometimes i cant believe i have traveled in this life that long... ..yes it seems like a long time.. but through another perspective it may seem sHort... or just tHe beginning... i think of it both wHays.. i feel the weight of the past.. more and more.. as there is more of it.. but also i feel i am just beginning .. always.. in different wHays.. as i get older and evolve.. my fuTure... my foRties... a beginning... i think of my fuTure.. and i think of the person i am to be.. the person i evolve to.. the differences.. and the things i want to keep close... wHat i will be doing?.. wHat will i believe in? .. i have never been forty .. so it will be new to me.. another beginning.. i see myself released somehow.. free from things that have held me down in my tHirties... just as how i wHas released from certain things in my twenties... wHen in my tHirties... i feel an "outward" energy happening in my forties.. just as in my twenties.. eX.perimenting .. eX.plorin'.. now that i am in my mid tHirties.. i dont want to go back to my tWenties... i have learned so much since then.. evolved into a person that cant position myself honesty where i wHas 10 years ago.. i have cHanged.. and i like those changes.. even if some of them have been harsh or made me suffer.. along with those deliveries.. there have been true feelings of happiness and the evolution of what is suffering and what is happiness and to what degree those things effect me.. i see in my forties.. that i will not want to be this person i am now.. or what i am doing.. my thirties have been very reflective.. inward past energy.. a filterin' of information .. life inventory and organization.. tHis is a preparation for my next stage in life.. just as i prepared when i wHas a teenager to be twenty... and in my forties.. i will bring in a new eNergy .. just like a breath of air.. in.. absorb... out... release... i breathe now my life... in with my future.. out with my past... my breath couldnt happen without each.. together they make my liFe.. and keep me bReathin'..     haPPi biRthday cHris! .. you are now 4 years to foRty! .. and lookin' good! .. :) love you baby.. always..

...baCk...